A Tale of Two Grandmothers

My grandmothers were as different as night and day.

greys and blacks by *L*u*z*A*

Night
One grandmother was usually unhappy and complaining.  It seemed nothing anyone did was ever good enough.  She was angry.  She held grudges.  She felt life cheated her…
She was always wishing for a bigger expensive home or car.  She always blamed someone else because she did not have what she “deserved.”  Everyone else’s grass was always greener…
Every conversation that I remember between her and my grandfather was an argument filled with anger.

Her persistent pattern of thinking was negative filled with anger, blaming others, jealousy and envy.  It seemed like her emotions were shades of gray and black.  She seemed to have lost her ability to enjoy life.

In my mind the biggest danger of negative thinking is its toxicity.  It poisons even the good times.

If my one grandmother was role model for being unhappy then my other grandmother was a role model for being content…

full spectrum by JOE MARINARO

Day
My other grandmother was almost always cheerful.  She was usually able to let bygones be bygones.  Unless, you lied or cheated her.  Then she usually just tried to avoid having anything to do with you.  Like the time the local shop owner took too many sugar coupons during the war…
She claimed she learned that worry was useless waste of energy; the time my grandfather broke his arm and still had to drive a team of horses home.  It didn’t get him home quicker.  It didn’t mend his arm…
She was grateful for what she had.  Strangely the grass was just as green or greener on her side of the fence.
She held anyone over 18, responsible for their personality and actions.  If something needed changing, they were capable and responsible for getting it done.
She practiced positive thinking.  Not the new kind where you can’t have a negative thought but a realistic kind.  She was fully human with the full spectrum of emotions.  She knew how to stand up for herself…
It showed.  She seemed at peace and her life was good.  She was not materially successful.  She did not have a fancy house or fast car.   She just enjoyed living.

In my mind this is the biggest benefits of a positive thinking habit.  It’s not the material wealth it can attract.

You can learn more about getting rid of your negative thinking habit and enjoying life again read “Why Bother to Change Your Thinking?”

Visualization Catalyst

Are you feeling like your visualizations are going anywhere?

Are you like me and just want results yesterday?

There are catalysts to speed up the process.  They include:

• just replaying the desired results in your imagination
• mind maps preferably with pictures
• dream boards
• slide presentations preferably with music
• videos.

Imagination

Maxwell in the original “Psycho-Cybernetics” gives excellent instructions for visualizing you’re an actor and putting yourself in your desired outcome.  Basically with your eyes closed picture a person, you doing what you want done or having what you want.

In your imagination allow yourself to be what you desire photo by by Elizabeth/Table4Five

Dream Boards and Slide Shows

Dream boards add some vividness as well.  You can use a poster board or white board.  Collect pictures of your desire put them on the board.  Put the board where you will see it a lot, if possible in your work space.

You can also use your computer.  You can just add images to a special folder or to a presentation.

If you choose to add the images to a presentation then you are just one step away from a slide show.  A slide show is an even stronger catalyst if it includes music.  It involves more senses.  Watching the images move seems to make them more “real” or in the present.  A slide show is just one step away from…

Videos

Videos.  You can use movie maker  or a service like Animoto to turn your slide show into a video.  “Manifestation video Hummer HX Concept” is a visualization video made with Animoto.  “Mind Movies” is another service for making manifestation videos.  An add on to their service allows your movie to loop on computer behind other windows.  There is a “Mind Movie” link on the catalyst page.

Laughing Yoga?

Laughing and Yoga don’t have anything to do with each.  Or do they?

If you say no, the Weight Loss Grail says you’re wrong.

There is a form of yoga practiced in India that is laughter.  Laughing just to laugh, from an internal stimulus. Laughing is like any other habit the more it’s practiced the easier and more frequently it occurs.

Young women in Laughing Yoga exercise by lululemon athletica

Anyone can learn and do this type of yoga.  School curriculum in parts of India include laughter yoga.  It doesn’t involve all the posturing of other forms of yoga.  It has more benefit when accompanied by a warm up and rhythmic movements.

Research from the early 1990′s has shown that laughter had a lot of the same benefits as aerobic exercise.  I personally think laughing is a whole lot more fun than running on a treadmill.  But that’s me.

Doesn’t this sound too fun to be good for you?

I want to change the subject a little.

Laughing Yoga is one to the growing list of fun things that are really enjoyable and have numerous benefits.  There is a more extensive list here.

Do you know at least one more really fun activity that has the same benefits as exercise and for most a lot more fun?

Hint:  It is also a great way to release tension; increase the relaxing and pain relief hormones.

I’ll respond in an email to anyone who leave a comment or contacts me.

We will not forget

Remember!

Remember the Alamo!

We lost many heroes and leaders in that battle.

Remember the victims of the Holocaust.

Catholic, Protestant and Jews.

Honor their sacrifice by preventing mass slaughters of any kind.

Remember 9/11.

As Americans we have a difficult task protecting our religious freedom but not allowing  that freedom to be used as weapon.

Remember!

Gratitude

I didn’t know what to post for today.  I was feeling very stuck.

I want to thank Jean McBride for her post “Two Old Horses and Me”.  It invited me to be grateful and asked specifically what  it was that I was grateful for today.

She acknowledges how important gratitude is.  Its helpful to keep a gratitude journal.  Its something she starts then drifts from to start again later.  I almost jumped up and down.  I’m not the only one who does things like that.

Gratitude its one of the essential nutrients of the spirit.  The others are love, forgiveness, hope and faith.  They are important in the change process.  See my previous post Change Thinking Habits Mind Map.

Any way her invitation got me unstuck and gave me something to post for today.

I would like to pass on the gift to you.

Life overflows when we look for goodness.

Please answer “What are you most grateful for today?” in the comments.

ABC asks “Does Thinking Positive Really Help?”

A report at http://abcnews.go.com/Technology raises the question about positive thinking.  It goes on to discuss how researchers at Cal Tech are using MRI to measure differences in brain activity while thinking positive and negative.

Western science is finally developing methods to measure what has been understood by some for centuries.  This new research is part of a small but steadily growing body of scientific evidence that shows that, yes, positive thinking really helps.

Dr. Larry Dossey shares a lot of these studies  in his books “Healing Words” and “Prayer Is Good Medicine.”  As I recall both have extensive references for anyone who wants to read the original articles.

The article “Does Thinking Positive Really Help?” makes me wonder:

• Why are we looking to science to answer “Does thinking positive really help?”
• Is our Western world so dogmatic to completely discount the enormous body of anecdotal evidence that has accumulated for centuries?
• Could this be the equivalent of the Catholic Church condemning Galileo?

A lot of people, including the researchers from what ABC reported, believe thinking positive is just that.  You think good thoughts.  The real power of positive thinking is the whole process.  To learn more click this link Power Positive Thinking.

What are your thoughts?  Am I alone in believing that science is being blinded by the assumption that if we can’t measure something it must not exist?  Leave a comment…

Why can’t I change?

Why can’t I make lasting changes?

People can make lasting changes in any area of their life and do all the time.   A few do it by shear will power, you know, “Just do it!” attitude. In my experience that approach has the highest failure rate.

How come?

There are two main reasons:

One is our minds develop a kind of “thermostat” for what is normal behavior for us.  This “thermostat” works like the one in your home. If the level something say blood sugar gets to high it starts sending messages to the body to make it send out more insulin. If the sugar drops too low it sends out messages to make you hungry and to the liver for it to send some sugar into the blood stream.  There are “internal thermostats” for a lot of things including what situations we feel comfortable in, what decisions we make, who we choose for partners and friends. Our “thermostats” don’t consult the reasoning part of our brain, just the subconscious.  Have you ever done something and then thought “That didn’t make any sense, why did I do that?” It may have been because of a “thermostat.” Our thermostats can be changed as Elisha Goldstein PH.D. points out in her post, “Why We May Have to Leave the Mind Behind for Real Change.”

Our subconscious "thermostats" work like this one

The second reason relates to why the mind created that “thermostat” in the first place. The reason our minds create these “thermostats” is to maintain important elements within specific ranges. These process include blood sugar, pulse, breathing and aspects of our behavior the subconscious decides are absolutely necessary for survival. In our subconscious these behaviors, that the conscious may want or not; that may be considered healthy or not; are fulfilling a survival need.  Our subconscious is convinced if they change too much death will result. We have to meet the need in another way that satisfies the subconscious before it will allow us to change that behavior. This has been acknowledged since New Testament times. Think about the story of the man who had the demons cast out and didn’t want them to return to an empty clean house with all of their friends.

Okay so what do we do about it?

We can usually get our “thermometer” to adjust by making small lasting changes in the direction we desire. Let’s return to the blood sugar example. A person with type 2 diabetes has typically had high blood sugar for at least 5 years before they are diagnosed. That person’s blood sugar “thermostat” has been reset to recognize the new high sugar level as normal. That “thermostat” will work to keep at sugar levels high by making the person hungry and feel hypoglycemic when the sugar levels get lower.  Many times people newly diagnosed with diabetes have trouble controlling their blood sugar because of this. If they learn to check their glucose when the “feel” like they have low blood sugar and not just trust their body, then they have more success in getting their sugars under control.  After the blood sugar have been back under control for awhile then the thermostat resets itself again to a the new lower level.  Almost all of our other behaviors work the same way.  If we want to change; make small changes get used to them.  Make another small change toward the goal get used to it. This way your “thermometer” has time to reset itself. Keep taking the baby steps and allowing the “thermometer” to reset until you get there.

The second reason for “Just do it!” failure on the surface seems easy to address. Just find the need and fix it.  Ah, but suppose that need is buried deep in some experience that our subconscious doesn’t want us to remember. One thing that’s effective for most people is acknowledging that they have this behavior for a reason. Acknowledging they don’t know why they have it and they don’t need to know “why?”.  Then asking themselves in a loving accepting way “How can I fulfill this need in a pleasant healthy way?” And keep asking and keep asking and keep asking until they get an answer. You can also fill in the form below. You will be sent a email with a link to download a video that will help you get your answers.

What has your experience been making change? Any tips or hints for others? Please leave a comment below.

Planning Mind Map

Planning Mind Map

The planning process in this mind map can be applied to just about anything.  Planning is much more straight forward or linear than creating this site or the steps in change.

Change Thinking Habits Mind Map

We are using the same process to grow this site as we are teaching you to use to make changes.

The Change Thinking Mind Map, the Planning Mind Map, and the Change Thinking Habits Steps Mind Map are all assessments of what we have used and wish to share with you.  These maps also make clear what we want to present.  These maps are part of a process and are fluid.  We can make changes in them as needed.

They also demonstrate one way you can create a written plan.  The software to create these maps was downloaded from Free Mind.  It is has GPU license and is free.  It’s very easy to add pictures as a node with insert.   You have created your first dream board on your computer.

Change Thinking Habits Steps Mind Map

Change Thinking Steps Mind Map

Change Thinking Steps Mind Map is the third map for this topic.  I included everything I could think of.  My left brain did its best to make sense and translate into linear thought my right brain’s non-linear pictures.

This mind map is somewhat misleading.  The steps in this map are not fixed and do not need to go in order presented.  They are kind of like the steps in the grieving process, they can be a random shuffle with unannounced repeats and change without notice.  This just gives you the idea of what may happen.